5 powerful ways to boost your influence

"The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your relationships is determined by your level of influence."
- Tony Robbins

Influence isn't just a skill; it's your secret weapon.

Whether it's growing your business, improving your health, or building meaningful relationships, influence is the key.

It's about getting people on board with your vision and journey.

Today, I'm sharing 5 straightforward yet powerful ways to boost your influence.

These tips are about making real connections and getting the support you need.

Ready to unlock your potential?

Let's get started.

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Before we begin: Here’s what you might have missed last week

• In issue #25 of The Productivist, I shared 7 proven strategies to thrive during turbulent times.

• You learnt the ways high performers deal with challenges instead of avoiding them.

• You discovered the importance of self-regulation, self-awareness, reframing, and much more! 

Click here to access the full issue.

Big idea #1: Set intentions.

While most enter conversations with an expectation of how it should go, I encourage you to have no expectations for the external world, but rather set intentions for how you will show up.

(i) Set your intentions now.

• Grab a pen & paper and reflect on how you want to be perceived in your relationships.

• Identify the qualities you want others to see in you during interactions.

(ii) Remind yourself regularly.

• Establish cues or reminders 🔔 for yourself to embody these qualities consistently.

• This practice helps align your actions with the best version of who you can be in every interaction.

• Try taking a minute before every interaction to take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed and set an intention to be present and to show up the way you need.

This simple, mindful exercise can significantly enhance the quality of your interactions, helping you to be more centred, attentive, and effective in your communication.

Big idea #2: Pay attention to your energy.

What is the energy you want to project onto others?

Your energy level, presence, and attitude can convey a lot about your:

• authenticity,

• confidence,

• credibility.

Your energy influences your body language and tone of voice which account for 93% of the perceived impact of your message. While spoken words are only 7%.

Moreover, people often subconsciously absorb and mirror the emotions of those around them.

By choosing to bring positive energy into your interactions, you initiate a ripple effect that can influence the thoughts, behaviours, and decisions of others, fostering a more productive and engaging environment.

If you want to learn how to master your non-verbal communication to project calm confidence, check out this issue of the Productivist.

Big idea #3: Start every interaction in a positive frame.

This advice reminds me of a study where participants were divided into two groups, where one group was offered warm coffee and another - iced coffee.

Their task was then to read the same story and judge the character.

Interestingly, those who enjoyed the warm drink viewed the character’s intentions more positively, while the group that had cold beverages viewed the same character as a villain.

This illustrates the power of a “warm” positive start.

Apply this to conversations, especially when addressing concerns.

Begin with a positive, understanding tone, like offering a metaphorical warm drink.

For example, if discussing a sensitive topic, you might say:

“Our relationship means a lot to me, and I have a suggestion that I think could bring us even closer. Are you open to hearing about it?”

This approach sets a constructive, welcoming tone for the conversation.

Big idea #4: Think win / win +1.

Move beyond the classic win/win.

Aim for a situation where you win, and they gain even more.

This requires deep understanding of:

• their perspective,

• their bigger picture, and

• what they truly want.

Make every request and proposal so irresistible that it would make them feel foolish not to accept it.

Don't just wait for opportunities; actively create them.

Treat every chance to add value to others as an investment in your future success.

Start investing today.

Big idea #5: Respect.

It may sound elementary to you, but respect is often misunderstood.

Even though you say you respect them;
when you interrupted them today,
it was not respect.

When you promised them to do something,
and then you didn't do it,
it was not respect.

So, the first part of the equation is to eliminate the occurrences that show your disrespect.

And the second is to develop the skills that proactively demonstrate respect, such as:

• active listening,

• asking for their opinion, and

• complimenting them or their work in a room full of people.

Respect = [eliminating disrespect] + [proactively demonstrating respect]

Tiny habit: Whenever you encounter a negative person - use it as an opportunity to build your character.

Try this personal growth challenge this week:

When you encounter a negative person - yes, it will happen - use it as an opportunity to build your character. 

Because here’s what tends to happen if you don’t set such an intention:

That negative person drags you down with them!

• You may argue…

• You may let them ruin your mood…

• You may blame them for causing you stress…

Don't let other people dictate how you feel.

Don't allow others to set the tone for the rest of your day.

Get a handle on your emotions and choose your response instead of reacting.

So, what’s the best version of you would do in such a situation?

What qualities do you want to exhibit?

• Compassion?

• Kindness?

• Respect?

• Calm?

• Gratitude?

Think about it.

An impossible challenge would be to entirely avoid negative people. Not to mention, it’s out of your control.

But what’s in your control is your emotional state and response.

The Productivist Question

Today’s discussion was about the way we influence others.

However, I’d love to leave you with a few questions which prompt you to reflect on who are the best influencers in your life:

• Who brings out the best qualities in me?

• How do they do that? (How can I try their method to bring out the best in others?)

• And, most importantly, how can I spend more time with them this year?

Remember, life is not about you; rather it is about the lives of all those people you touch. Make sure you leave them better than you find them.

Have a wonderful week ahead,

Valeriya

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