Here's how to make rejection productive

How often do you hold back from pursuing opportunities because you dread that daunting two-letter word, "NO"?

Consider this:

If potential rejection was not part of the equation, what would you immediately go for?

• Would you confidently ask for a raise?

• Would you reach out to your dream client?

• Would you take a chance to ask someone out?

• Or would you finally start expressing your true self?

In today’s issue, we'll explore strategies for reframing, handling, and leveraging rejection to our advantage.

Rejection can be productive.

Here’s how… 👇

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Before we begin: Here’s what you might have missed in the past few weeks…

• In issue #36 of The Productivist, I shared the roadmap from overwhelm to clarity. Access the full issue here.

• In issue #35, you learnt the advanced time-boxing strategies. Read it here.

• In issue #34, you discovered how you can optimize your language to boost happiness, confidence and performance. Check it out here.

Which one was your favourite? Just hit reply and let me know! 🫶

Big idea #1: YES lives in the land of NO

If you cringe at the word "NO," keep reading.

During a student exchange in Australia, I landed a part-time job in sales, going door-to-door to pitch a meal-kit delivery subscription.

Decked out in a branded apron, I faced many unwelcoming looks in those front yards. 🥲 Yet, looking back, I can't help but smile. That 4-month stint was a crash course in developing the right mindset and resilience.

Here's what I learned:

Success is a numbers game. (especially in sales)

Many new colleagues would become visibly upset, some even to tears, after a string of unsuccessful pitches. They saw each rejection as a personal failure, turning the job into a torturous ordeal.

Yes, sales might not be for everyone, but it's not the rejection that's the issue — it's how you handle it.

From my mentor, I picked up a better strategy:

My daily goal wasn't just to surpass average sales figures but to collect 40 "NOs."

Why?

Because within days into the job, I realized that every 10 rejections typically led to one "YES."

Just like everything in life, there are elements beyond your control in sales too. Sometimes, you hit your YES early, or it might take all 40 NOs.

The point is, every NO brings you closer to YES.

YES lives in the land of NO.

As a rule of thumb: those who face the most rejections often end up achieving the most results.

Remember, your desire to avoid hearing “NO” prevents you from hearing “YES”.

Shift your perspective to view rejection as a necessary step toward success, not a defeat.

You will not only expect it but also welcome it.

Big idea #2: Don’t take rejection personally.

It may sound like something your best friend would say to cheer you up, but it’s true.

Rejection isn’t always about you.

It's often based on the perceived value you present at that moment and is merely a reflection of the rejector's perspective, not a definitive truth.

Importantly, rejection only becomes a failure if it causes you to give up.

Still need convincing?

Consider Melanie Perkins, who was turned down by over 100 investors while pitching an innovative design platform aimed at challenging Adobe. Despite these setbacks, she refined her pitch repeatedly, leading to the creation of Canva, now valued at approximately $26 billion.

Then there's Halle Berry, who faced significant early career rejections and even homelessness. Her relentless pursuit of her acting dreams led her to become the first Black woman to win an Academy Award for Best Actress.

Or reflect on Madam C.J. Walker, who navigated through both racial and gender biases. Despite numerous rejections, she became America's first female self-made millionaire with a line of hair care products for Black women.

We can keep going…

Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper for "lacking imagination" and "having no original ideas." This rejection did not stop him from pursuing his creative dreams, eventually building the Disney empire.

Jamie Kern Lima, founder of IT Cosmetics, faced numerous rejections from investors and beauty industry skeptics who doubted her and her products. Undeterred, she showcased her product's effectiveness on QVC, which led to rapid growth and a $1.2 billion acquisition by L'Oréal, making her the first female CEO of a L'Oréal brand.

Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia, the founders of Airbnb, famously received rejections from seven prominent Silicon Valley investors in 2008. Today, Airbnb is a globally recognized platform valued at over $100 billion.

These stories you have probably heard before:

Oprah Winfrey was once deemed unfit for television and fired from her job as a news anchor. Undaunted, she pursued a career in daytime TV, transforming her early rejections into a launchpad for becoming a global media mogul and the first Black multi-billionaire in North America.

J.K. Rowling faced numerous rejections from publishers. Twelve publishers passed on her “Harry Potter” manuscript before Bloomsbury finally accepted it, leading to one of the most successful book series in history.

Albert Einstein struggled to secure a teaching position and was initially rejected by the academic community. However, his persistence in his scientific work eventually led to revolutionary theories that changed our understanding of the universe.

And there are so many more stories that exemplify that rejection is not an end but a redirection, an opportunity to refine and reassert your path toward success.

What’s your story going to be?

Big idea #3: Present your authentic self

Sometimes, the fear of rejection shackles us, preventing us from revealing our true selves.

One of my clients had labelled themselves as 'antisocial' for the longest time. However, we soon realized the issue wasn't antisocial tendencies at all; it was that they had never learned how to be themselves around others.

Why presenting your authentic self is important?

Certainly, dropping the facade and expressing your true self can feel liberating.

More than just the uplifting feeling, however, being authentic is key to finding your tribe.

When you're authentic, you draw in those who vibe with your true essence. These connections are deeper, more fun, and they genuinely enrich your life.

Authentic relationships foster a sense of belonging and understanding, creating a supportive network we all need in life.

Doesn’t it hurt more if they reject the real me?

Sure, it’s easier to face rejection when you’re wearing a mask… "They don’t know the real me," you might say.

But rejection stings sharply when it's personal.

Yet, I use this sting as a compelling reason to embrace authenticity.

Each encounter with rejection toughens you up. It whittles away the fear linked to being vulnerable.

Gradually, what once seemed impossible becomes just another obstacle you can overcome, paving the way for greater challenges and victories.

Let’s face it, not everyone will like you, and that’s okay — you don’t like everyone either! This realization fosters humility and keeps you grounded.

Why does vulnerability matter?

Showing your vulnerable side does more than just open you up to potential rejection; it invites others to offer their support, advice, or opportunities — gifts you might have missed otherwise.

For leaders, embracing vulnerability can revolutionize your relationships with your team and peers. It demonstrates that you value genuineness and share common struggles, inspiring others to engage more openly and fostering a culture of trust and respect.

Presenting your authentic self goes beyond just being true to who you are — it opens up a world of deeper connections, more meaningful and enjoyable experiences, and personal growth.

Embrace this approach and see how it not only transforms your own path but also positively influences those around you.

Big idea #4: How to make rejection productive?

1. Set goals for rejection.

   Set a target number for rejections. The higher the better.

   For example, every 10th sales conversation leads to a sale, so if you want to make 5 sales in a given time frame, set a goal to get 50 rejections.

   
   

2. Learn from rejection.

   Is there anything that you could have done differently that could have raised your chances of getting a YES?

   
   

3. Ask them WHY.

   Sometimes you discover your blindspots, sometimes you learn more about them, and sometimes you need to recognize that their perception is not the truth, so this step takes critical thinking.

   
   

4. Detach from the outcome.

   Ultimately, whether you get a YES or a NO is out of your control because it’s up to the other person. So as much as you can control how many times you ASK, you should detach yourself from the outcome of how many times your ASK leads to a YES.

   
   

5. Do not burn the bridge.

   I've had clients who initially declined my coaching offers, only to accept a different proposal later on. Some even circled back to the original offer after a few months. A 'no' is often a 'not yet'.

   
   

6. Take extreme ownership.

   As much as rejection is about the other person’s perception of you, your offer, or your ask, you do have the power to influence their perception. So whenever you get rejected, don’t take it personally, but also know that it is you who could have persuaded them better. How can you improve your communication and persuasion skills?

The Productivist Challenge: Face rejection every day for 7 days

This is how you can turn rejection into your ally.

I challenge you to seek out rejection every single day for a week.

Here’s why embracing rejection could be the most liberating thing you do:

1. More NOs lead to more YESs.

2. Rejection makes you more resilient.

3. Rejection expands your zone of comfort.

4. You finally start asking for what you truly want.

5. It sparks innovation as it forces us to rethink our approaches.

6. Rejection humbles you. Understanding that you're not for everyone helps keep your ego in check.

Inspired by the book Rejection Proof where Jia Jiang did this challenge for 100 days, this 7-day challenge is a condensed version designed to help you quickly see the benefits of this powerful approach.

Embrace rejection, and watch how it transforms your mindset and capabilities!

The Productivist Question 

If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I do?

This topic was a timely reminder for me too as the number of rejections I get just keeps on growing every week.

And guess what, all it means is I am getting better. 💪 I am making more asks, which is a win.

Don’t let rejection stop you from having a beautiful week ahead!

Valeriya

PS: Warm welcome to all the new joiners! DM me on LinkedIn to say hi! 👋

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