Confidence masterclass for high performers

This one is a must-read whether you struggle with confidence or not.

There’s a lot of misconception about what confidence truly is.

Here’s what we often get wrong about it:

• Confidence is not about having no doubts.

• Confidence is not about knowing everything.

• Confidence is not about hiding your weaknesses.

Confidence is in your attitude and approach to life.

• It’s in your daily choices that support your future vision because you believe in yourself to achieve it.

• It’s in your vulnerability to admit when you don’t know something and your willingness to ask for help.

• It’s in your desire to grow rather than stay comfortable, improve rather than impress others, and be congruent rather than compromising.

Today, I’m sharing the top tips I’ve given my clients to boost their confidence.

It’s going to be a juicy one!

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Before we begin: Here’s what you might have missed in July:

• In issue #52 of The Productivist, I shared how to receive, ask for and give productive feedback. Read it here.

• In issue #51, you learned why & how to break the cycle of late-night creativity. Access it here.

• In issue #50, you discovered 3 biggest lessons I learned from my 6-year relationship. Check it out here.

• In issue #49, I revealed my guide to developing a fitness mindset (not just physical). Read it here.

• In issue #48, you were reminded of the top 3 lessons you learned in this newsletter in the past 6 months. Revisit them here.

Which one was your July favourite? Just hit reply and let me know! 🫶

Big idea #1: Everything you do affects your confidence balance

Ever feel like you are confidence-broke?

It could be because you’ve never considered this:

Every action you take affects your confidence balance.

That's right, just like a bank account.

• Skipped your workout? Withdrawal.

• Helped a friend? Deposit.

So if you've been lacking confidence lately, I bet the answer lies in that transaction history. 😉

Want to do something about it?

Read on.

We are diving into 12 things keeping your confidence in the red. 🔻

Big idea #2: Why do you lack confidence?

Pick your favourite:

1. Hypercriticism

A sure way to go from full confidence to feeling like a failure:

How can you overcome it?

1. View past situations as learning experiences instead of critical ones.

   
   

2. Collect and save all positive feedback you receive from others into one place where you'll access anytime you feel self-doubt.

   
   

3. Protect your self-image

Revisit the issue I wrote on building productive self-image here.

2. Lack of self-trust

Have you ever said you’ll do something, but then you “forgot” or talked yourself out of it?

Breaking promises to oneself erodes self-trust like nothing else.

That lack of confidence results in:

• Procrastination

• Comfort zone confinement

• Complete avoidance of challenges

3 steps to overcome it:

1. Create a new habit: If you said you would do something, follow through. (And I’ll talk more on that later)

2. To repair your self-trust start your day with a small win, such as not hitting a snooze button.

3. Every day, jot down everything you do well (from making the bed to finishing projects).

3. Lack of competence

The more you practice a new skill the more competent you get. It then boosts your confidence, which then motivates you to keep practicing and improving on that skill, thereby giving you more confidence.

It’s a loop.

Yet, here’s what happens if you let a lack of competence become the reason you stop:

Remember this competence-confidence loop, especially when you start new things:

• Always come prepared.

• Put in the reps. Rehearse.

• Embrace failure because we learn more effectively from failures.

   

4. Low self-respect

Self-respect reflects the overall opinion we have of ourselves.

It is influenced by how well our actions align with our core values (e.g. generosity, kindness, and growth).

Misalignment can lead to:

• Low self-esteem

• Greater vulnerability to negative feedback

• Defensive behaviours

Here’s what you can try instead:

1. Define your core values in life.

   
   

2. What small daily actions (not just big gestures) would demonstrate your core values?

   
   

3. Commit to taking these actions daily or as often as you can. Notice how your self-respect rises.

5. Unsupportive environment

• Who do you associate with?

• Who do you let influence you?

• How can you build a more supportive environment for developing a confident self-image?

I wrote in detail on this topic in one of my previous newsletters. Check it out here.

6. Unhealthy comparison, judgement, and gossip

When you put someone down, does it truly make you feel better about yourself?

You might convince yourself that you're on top, but your mind knows the truth.

It keeps score of how low your confidence must be if you need to bring others down to feel elevated.

Real confidence doesn't need to compare, judge, or gossip.

7. Lack of energy

No one is talking about it:

If you don’t feel good in your body, how could you approach life confidently?

Invest into your health and prioritize activities that raise your energy, not drain it.

Because everything that drains your energy, drains your confidence too.

8. Chasing perfection

Striving for perfection might seem like the path to success, but it often leads to frustration and self-doubt, and never confidence.

Here's why:

1. Unrealistic standards

• Perfection is unattainable.

• Aiming for it sets you up for failure.

• Thinking that you are a failure is the opposite of confidence.

2. Constant comparison

• Comparing yourself to an ideal can make you feel inadequate and lose confidence.

3. Fear of failure

• Perfectionism creates a fear of mistakes, hindering growth and learning.

• If you avoid making mistake, you avoid success.

4. Burnout

• The relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm.

• When you are burnt out, you are not confident about anything.

Remember:

Progress > perfection

If you are growing and learning, you are winning.

9. Lack of progress

• If you are not moving closer toward your dream

• If you are not improving on your skills

• If you are procrastinating 

…No wonder you are not feeling confident!

As humans, we have the need to grow and improve.

It’s about our inherent need to reach our full potential as human beings.

If you ignore making progress, confidence will ignore you.

10. You are not doing hard things

Here’s why you should:

How do you break this cycle?

The answer is to consistently engage with more difficult tasks.

It's not about succeeding in them every time; it's about trying your best.

Failing at something after giving it your all and then trying again is a powerful way to build self-confidence.

Recognize your improvements, no matter how small, from one attempt to the next.

You're getting better, not perfect.

Keep at it, and the results and confidence will follow.

Then, it's time to raise the bar.

11. Your physiology

What’s your posture right now?

(You’ve just sit up straight, haven’t you? I knew it!)

We tend to let the way we feel dictate our actions.

Yet, all high performers know the truth:

If you change your ACTIONS → you change the way you FEEL.

And it starts with:

• A good posture

• A smile

• A few deep breaths

(Learn more about productive body language here.)

12. You never admit when you don’t know

Ever met someone who always says "I know" to everything?

Do they come across as confident or insecure?

You probably guessed it right.

If you constantly say "I know" and avoid admitting when you're unsure, it's insecurity that others see through.

True confidence isn't about knowing everything. It's about being comfortable admitting when you don't and seeking help when needed.

In the room full of smart people, talking nonsense confidently about something you don't know isn’t just lack of confidence — it’s disrespect.

Saying, "I don't know much about this. I'd love to hear what you think," is real confidence.

Big idea #3: My #1 advice to anyone struggling with confidence

If you ask me to give you ONE thing to boost your confidence, I’ll have one clarifying question for you first:

• How do you rate your overall confidence on the scale from 1 to 10 in the past 3 months?

If you rate it as 7/10 (or higher):

My advice → Challenge yourself:

• Do hard things

• Step out of your comfort zone

• Raise the difficulty of everything that you do (“One More” mindset)

But if you are wondering:

• How could I possibly do hard things when my confidence is 2/10?

You’re right, you can’t.

Such challenges will only trigger fight, flight or freeze response in you.

So you need to start with easier stuff.

What do I mean?

My actual #1 confidence tip:

• Follow through on what you said you would do.

  Which also means → Stop saying you will do something when you have no intention of following through.

Let me explain…

Lately, you've been making too many empty promises, not realizing that your mind is keeping score:

🧠: "𝘚𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘪𝘯"
🧠: "𝘚𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘐'𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵"
🧠: "𝘚𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘐'𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢"

No wonder you can't do the challenging task you know you should do.

Your mind doesn't take you seriously.

You’ve lost self-trust.

So, how do you rebuild it?

• Start small

• Focus on the things in your control

• ❗️Stop saying you'll do something when you have no intention of doing it

Begin with a simple daily win, such as:

 ✔️ make my bed

Then, keep expanding your list:

✔️ wake up at a certain hour
✔️ meditate for 10 minutes
✔️ get in 7,500 steps
✔️ make that shake
✔️ read 10 pages
✔️ workout
✔️ etc

Your mind needs to build a track record of you coming through on your word.

And it has to be more consistent than your track record of lies.

Before you know it, you'll trust yourself again and take on more challenging tasks.

This is how you’ll take your confidence from 2/10 to 6/10 to 10/10.

The Productivist Challenge: Save this confidence checklist for the next time you lack confidence

If you lack confidence, the answer WHY is somewhere on this page:

The Productivist Question:

Allow me to repeat:

In the past 3 months, how would you rate your overall confidence on a scale from 1 to 10?

What habit will take this score to at least +1 in the next month?

Remember, confidence is a skill.

I hope you’ve got a few ideas from this newsletter how to improve at it.

Have a beautiful rest of your week,

Valeriya

PS: What was the biggest a-ha for you today? Let me know by hitting reply or DMing me on LinkedIn! I love learning about you :)

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